wake up i wanna do it froggy style
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
So here I am, sexting at work.
Randomize
