I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
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