I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
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