why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
Randomize
