Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
