you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Randomize
