ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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