She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
