we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
I hate all girls vehemently.
My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
Randomize
