You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
