Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
