just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
Randomize
