if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
only if we run a train.
done.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
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