Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
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