4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
Randomize
