At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
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