It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
