No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
Randomize
