I feel like I'm in dance class right now
I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
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