sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
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