she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
We had to coat check the pizza.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
