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Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
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