Can I ask u a weird question?
do u have the hershy squirts too?
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.