she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
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I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
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Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.