Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.