his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
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