..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize