Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
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