He asked to "fluff my boner.."
You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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