Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
