id be glad to
I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Randomize
