I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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