Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
