Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
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Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
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It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
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