she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
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