Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
Randomize
