Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
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