Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
Randomize
