is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Randomize
