I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
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