i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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