Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
please come you make the beer taste better
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize