I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
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