I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize