I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Randomize