I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
