I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Wtf am i supposed to tell my kids when they ask about my first time? "Mommy got drunk off her ass and fucked a total stranger in another stranger's bedroom, then got abandoned by the selfish prick and walk of shamed to the nearest gas station to call a cab, but ended up passed out in a park in a pool of her own puke."
At least mommy was smart enough to use protection and hack into the asshole's facebook account.
Well of course. Mommy may be a slutty drunk but she ain't no idiot.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
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