new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
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