Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Randomize
