no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
meet me or not, i'm out of control
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
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