if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Lo siento on account of my penis...
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
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