I saw his package. It spoke to me.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Randomize
