I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
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