just come out here and I will go home with you...
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
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