her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
