I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Randomize
