I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
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