if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
